Letters to Jack & Audrey: Keeping Up

Jack,

You are moving and growing so fast that you know your own needs before I do anymore.

I'm just thinking it's about time for snack and I'll hear you behind me opening the cupboard and pulling out either chips or pretzels or goldfish crackers declaring: "Mmmmmmmmmmm! I eat it!" and heading straight to the coffee table to help yourself.

So - are all 2 year olds this independent? You've gotten to the point in desiring your independence so much that I am unable to agree with you, even when I want to. You'll want to do something or say you want something and, if I agree, you are suddenly offended and yelling "NO, I NOT! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and I hear a voice in my head saying what just happened here?

You seem to realize how important asserting this independence is to you far more than I do.

I half expect you to sit me down and have a "talk" with me.

Jack: "Look, Mommy. You need to accept the fact that I'm not 1 anymore and I can do things for myself. I don't need you imposing these rules on me, when I'm smart enough to figure out the rules for myself."
Me: "I..........uh........"
Jack: "Look - I'll be careful out there! I wasn't born yesterday, you know!"
Me: ..........................

Let's just say, if I came home tomorrow and you handed me a legal declaration of emancipation, I wouldn't be floored....

*******************

When you aren't asserting your independence, you seem happiest when you are running. Running in circles, usually, and instructing others to join you in this never ending cycle of chase. When you ARE able to get others besides me to run with you, the order is very important. The rules are:

You are ALWAYS first!

Mommy is ALWAYS second!

Everyone else can fall in line anyway after that, unless you decide otherwise.

There is NO PASSING in line when running in circles.

You CAN briefly pause if under the guise of hiding behind a corner to "surprise" Jack when he comes around the corner, but GET BACK IN LINE IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS!

Bathroom breaks are not allowed. If they are taken anyway, screaming will ensue until the offender is complete (and just see how easily YOU can pee while someone is screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! at the top of his lungs.... but I won't point fingers...)
If said person agrees to participate in the game, he/she cannot stop playing until determined by YOU. If someone tries to ignore this rule, much arm pulling and declarations of "MOMMY WUN! WUUUUUUUUUUUN! MOMMMMMMMEEEEEE WUUUUUUUUNN!" until "said person" (smile) falls in line and gets back to the act of running.

You are a very disciplined and strict personal trainer. It's good for me to a point.

In an act of desperation to find a way to make this running in circles thing work without me, I have suggested pushing your animals on your bike so that you feel that you are still running with someone.