These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007



This evening, you were in your highchair with your head turned to the side looking at something.

"What are you looking at, Jack?"


"A Picture? Oh! That picture?"

"Mommy Daddy pic-shur"

"Yes, that's our wedding picture."

"Mommy Pwin-sess"

"..... Jack, did you just say Mommy is a princess?"

"Yesh. Mommy Pwin-sess."


oh my god.

thank you, Jack....



Monday, August 27, 2007

Dinner Meltdown


Dinner has always been a bit of a challenge, but tonight was the mother of all dinner disasters. You cried for an hour and a half starting when we sat down to dinner and ending when when you finally went to bed.

An HOUR AND A HALF.Of screaming.Endless screaming.I tried offering you all your favorite foods. I bargained for ONE tiny single solitary bite before I could let you get down from the table.Even a scrap would have been enough to help me save face.But you showed me. By the time you got down from the chair, your eyes were so puffy it looked like you had hives, your shirt was soaked completely through from saliva and tears and I didn't know how to calm you.Now it's almost 8 which is your usual bedtime and you've been asleep now for 20 minutes already and I'm eyeing up the hard liquor and chocolate in the cabinets and wondering if it would really be so bad if I inhaled them all in one night.Come on. I deserve it. See for yourself and keep in mind that this is the short, kinder video that I am posting.

There was another one, but it's too long and I'll spare you that embarassment here on the web and will instead hold it over your head when you are older.



Sunday, August 26, 2007



Yesterday for lunch we got you a Happy Meal and didn't notice the toy until we got home. After eating, we pulled the toy out of the bag and VOILA!:
Tiny, Tiny Teddy Bear's girlfriend!Awwwww! Aren't they cute?

Welcome to the family! :)



Saturday, August 25, 2007

Tiny Tiny Teddy Bear


Yesterday was a very fun day for all of us. After a crazy day at work for both of us, it was time for some family fun!

Turns out yesterday was a big day for you. You pooped on the potty twice yesterday, so we celebrated by heading to the toy store to pick out a new Cars car and to pick up a package of new Cars themed underwear. You were very excited and immediately declared "Cars DIAPERS!"

Hmmm. Backfire, perhaps?

Then we let you pick out some candy as a reward for such a big breakthrough in our very slow movement towards potty training.

Afterwards, we went to The Great American Pizza Company - a place we heard about from your Uncle Steve who had clued us into the fact that it's:

1) A PIZZA BUFFET (Thank you, god... I get religious only when presented with unlimited pizza options and the ability to eat pizza till it comes out my nose. Did I thank the lord yet? I did? Well, good.)
2) A DESSERT BUFFET (OH, MY GOD. Is there anywhere else in the world as indulgent?)
3) A blow up jumping house
4) A toddler merry-go-round
5) A toddler rocket ship that takes off to about adult shoulder height and then lands
6) An actual todder car that drives on a track while the child can pretend to drive by themselves
7) Lots of lights and noise from the older kids games
8) A REAL racetrack with bumper cars and everything where an adult can take a child with them on this big race ride.
9) A room with a huge movie screen where they were showing Blues Clues and Veggie Tales on a big screen for young children (Erin - Cal would LOVE this place!) As a matter of face, the next family event, I might stage a takeover in the planning and insist we all come HERE!

Well, we walked in and your Daddy and I were hungry so we TRIED to eat. When I say try, we tried to shovel pizza into our faces while you screamed from first the booth and then from the high chair we ended up having to strap you into. You screamed like you were being tortured and - just behind me and to the side two tables? Scott Smith and his family (a guy I work with) were trying to enjoy their evening with their three well behaved children and probably unable to help but notice the banshee screams coming from our table while you tried to violently reject all food items offered to you.

Finally, I gave up after only having shoveled down 8 pieces of pizza. (WHAT?!? YOU GOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME?!?) We went off to play.

You loved the jumping area - not just because of the jumping itself but you also loved lying on the jumping platform and feeling the bouncing of the other children.

After that, we went on the merry-go-round and then we tried the rocket ship. After those options, you started to be overwhelmed by so much goodness. It's so much better than the horrible closet that we lock you in at home (oh, please...) that you couldn't handle it and started to have a complete meltdown.

We tried to reinterest you in the games and other options, but even when we went to the racetrack, you refused to be measured to see if you were tall enough to ride, so we couldn't even do that.

Finally, we decided to try the dessert bar and trapped you in a high chair where you actually decided you would now eat dinner. So we planted you in the room with the big screen of Blues Clues and VeggieTales and I ate a second dinner (?!?) along with you while Daddy went to play some games so we could get enough tickets to win you a prize before leaving.

Well, Daddy did good. He won something like 240 tickets which made you the envy of the rest of the toddlers because you could really pick just about anything you wanted from the prize shelves. (Yes - that's right. The BIG MONEY ITEMS! :)

Turns out, you picked something and your Daddy and I picked the other things. You wanted a Tiny, Tiny Teddy bear which was "Mommy's Orange juice" colored. See here:
This Tiny, Tiny Teddy Bear pick didn't surprise us and is starting to become a joke between your Daddy and I.

Your first Teddy Bear was this one that you call Rufus. Rufus was given to me by a client when I was at AEIS before going on maternity leave with you. You love him!

Then, on a date night out with you one night, Daddy won this for you in a claw machine and it became "Tiny Teddy Bear". You can't sleep now without either one of them.So, now we have Tiny Tiny Teddy Bear (the orange one) and finally this one that came out of a quarter machine at Fuddruckers:a.k.a. Tiny Tiny Tiny Teddy Bear.

How much smaller can they get, I ask you?

Your bed is already so full of stuffed animals, there's barely any room left for you! I think they might even be the reason you don't sleep as well on certain nights. I have tried to "forget" one or two of them, but in the dark of night you have an uncanny ability no matter how tired you are to realize when someone is missing and the world will stop turning until they are located!Garby (Garfield), Pluto, Rufus (Teddy Bear), Tiny Teddy Bear, Tiny Tiny Teddy Bear and Tiny Tiny Tiny Teddy Bear are all very lucky to have you! :)Love,


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Sick Day


We had a sick day today, the two of us. It was actually very nice! I didn't even have to use up a sick day on my work schedule because I was able to sign onto my emails from home and stayed on top of all of my work responsibilities even while taking care of you!

Did I ever mention how fantastic I am? :)

We watched quite a bit of TV which I realize is pretty NOT fantistic mothering, but you were also sick so there aren't a lot of activities we can indulge in outside of the house that wouldn't have been too much, so that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

By afternoon, I was in such good shape with my workload and since I hadn't taken my lunch break (smile!) we left the house. I took you to the Pet Store to see the guinae pigs (I wonder if anyone else treats pet stores like their own personal petting zoos like I do. It's a fantastic idea, actually!).

We had a great time in the small animal and reptile rooms and running up and down the aisles of fish tanks and calling out their colors and telling each other to "look at that one!"

We ended up in the bird room where they had a very loud parrot which wasn't for sale and I can only imagine it's because the decible level that it was hitting. I thought it would shatter my eardrums and wanted to run from the room, but you were delighted and declared it a "Bald Eagle!" and laughed every time it let loose with one of it's ear shattering cries.

God forbid, you would have loved to take it home and crack up while it screamed endlessly, undoubtably sharing your cheeseballs with your best friend "Bald Eagle", but we didn't..... Because I'm such a major Party Pooper.

FYI - I took these pictures here because you were absolutely filthy in them and at the end of your patience - melt down style.I figured these are pictures to make my Mom proud!Thanks for the best Sick Day I've taken in a long time!Love,


Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Daddy At Wook


Last night after school, we had a conversation like this:

"Daddy Home?"

"No - Daddy's not home..."

"Daddy at wook!"

"That's right! Daddy is at work, but he's going to come home and we're going to have a fun weekend!"

"Daddy Wookin"


"Wead Daddy book."

"You want to read the 'I Love You, Daddy' book?"


"Okay - let's read it!"

After reading the 'I Love You, Daddy' book three times, you were satisfied. I told you how much Daddy loves you and you were pleased.

The rest of the evening we played Couch-Cushion-Trail which is fun because it's hard not to fall when walking on a cushion trail and IF you fall ..... so what? CUSHIONS, right?!? :)

Hey - I hope you know that in spite of my frustrations at points, that you are the most important person in the world to me. You and Daddy. I hope you know that.



Sunday, August 19, 2007

R and R


This weekend Daddy, you and I headed down to the Lake of the Ozarks for some much needed Rest and Relaxation. Daddy will be out of town for the next couple of weeks and I think we all needed to simply put ourselves in an environment that is not conducive to stress.

It's amazing how stress melts away in these surroundings!

The drive down here was wonderful. 3 1/2 hours in a car wouldn't sound like a good lead in, but it was. Frank discussions between your Daddy and I were fantastic and I have come to turns with my meltdowns as of late.

Don't get me wrong - I don't like the feeling and am going to try to do all I can not to let myself get to that point again, but to think that it will never happen again wouldn't be realistic. This is the beginning of the first challenging phase and it won't be the last. You want so badly to be independent and yet need me still for so many things. It's frustrating to you. Sometimes you ask for my help and get upset when I try to give it to you and I get upset because I can't seem to win and all I really want is to make you happy, but it's impossible to make someone happy all of the time - and that's my weakness. I am a person that wants people to like me all the time, to make people happy all the time and this just isn't possible. I set myself up for failure when I do that, but it's a part of my personality that I need to work on. :) At least I can recognize that and try to stay aware of it.

So then, we were at the Lake. You got to steer the boat for the first time and we cruised the Lake at a very slow pace. So slow in fact that you enjoyed walking and exploring the boat while in motion.

April and Hercules were with us, too. They both seemed to enjoy being a part of the family time and not being left behind as has been their usual as of late. (Although they both looked like their tongues where trying to escape their halitosis breath into the humid summer air....)

You and Hercules had similar interests in the Lake and were kind of like buddies in adventure this weekend.

The weather was great for being out on the boat. Not too hot and not too sunny. Probably not the best bikini day because of the lack of sun and the Taco Bell and Smirnoff Ice that I had consumed (picture a bikini on a distended belly.... YIKES!) but very, very relaxing so - who cares! :)

There was a lot of indulgent eating, some drinking and lots to do. We visited the pool, the lake and the playground this weekend and you were very entertained with everything including reaquainting yourself with our Lake toys. It was great.

The only thing that popped up was a surprising spill that I took down the stairs. You had a poopy diaper and were resistant as usual to me changing it. I was carrying you downstairs and by my own fault alone, misstepped and landed on my back. You were surprised, but unharmed by the fall and I alone have a mark on my lower back from the accident. It's a little bruised and sore this morning, but nothing serious. :)

I guess we know where that accident prone gene comes from now, don't we?

It was a great weekend and a good reality check. I feel like I'm coming home with a new perspective and am ready for the next two weeks. Bring them on! :)



Thursday, August 16, 2007

Losing My Sh*t


This morning, I reached a new low that I am not proud of either.

With a big morning in front of me at work, I was taking care to get ready for the day and look like I actually put a little bit of effort into my appearance. The reason - I had anticipated that I might get recognized at our monthly company Town Hall for a Customer First award. I received a lot of Customer First nominations recently and thought that might qualify me for this honor. (FYI - it didn't....) :)

Your milk was on the floor in front of you - about a foot away from where you were stretched out on the carpet, whining "I want my miiiiiilk!"

I said to you - "Fine - it's right there. Get it."

"I want my MIIIIIIIILK!"

"Sooooo - get it!"




I lost my sh*t. I have no excuse. I'm sorry.

This seems to be happening more and more lately. I think I need to go online and search for new ideas on how to work with a stubborn 2 year old. My Parents As Teachers contact left me a message. I think I'll call her and have her come visit. Give me some ideas.



Monday, August 13, 2007

Animal Lover


Yesterday you and I had some quality time. It's horribly hot out lately so we decided to go to the pool, followed by your second haircut. You were incredibly good.You didn't need to bribed or anything.It helped that the place we went to had a toy for you like you might see in a Happy Meal or something so that kept you occupied the entire time they were snipping away at your hair.After doing such a great job, I decided to take you a couple of store fronts up to the pet store. We had a wonderful time there. You got to pet a guinae pigAND a bearded dragon.Although, when I tried to get a video of you with the dragon, you simply weren't having it. :)

You were much more content to wander through the many tanks of fish trying to "Find NEMO" which basically meant pointing to any fish that was orange.

and NOOOOO, we don't now have an additional new pet in the family so those of you that were thinking it, can now stop.What a great day! :)