These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Dadada.... Dadada..... Dadadaaaaaaaa da da

If that title comes out sounding like baby babble and ALSO a little bit like the Mission Impossible theme, that's no mistake.

I hate that it's been so long since I wrote anything about what it's like these past months raising you and Jack because it's always such a wild journey that I know I'm missing a million things, but lately it feels like there simply isn't time for anything but watching the two of you.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a passenger in life and I'm riding in a vehicle - I don't know the speed, I have no idea where it's headed and I can't do anything about any of that because I'm in charge of the other two passengers who happen to both be a little INSANE! :)

Audrey,

You have had five ear infections and you are only 7 months. Next up - ENT appt. We'll be having you checked out by a doctor to see if he recommends tubes.

Yet, in spite of all the ear infections you have had, you are such a happy baby! You love people, you love Jack, you love animals, you love just about anything. You are sitting up on your own and you will busily play with toys - pulling objects out of containers can keep you entertained for quite awhile. EVERYTHING goes into your mouth right now. You LOVE eating paper - you can and do eat any paper you can find. There is a big bite mark on a party invitation Jack got from a preschool friend that is on our refrigerator now. You only have two teeth so you manage to get the paper to rip right off with the sheer force of the amount of saliva that you come at the paper with. You salivate so much when you chew on paper that it's instantaneously changed to pulp and falls right into your mouth when I try to tug it out. Jeeeeez. I hope it's good fiber and not too much bleach/chemicals/dyes, etc, because you are getting more than your fair share of diet straight from trees.

You love to give big slobbery opened mouth kisses. The kind that leaves the receivers face wet with saliva and snot, yet somehow smiling because of the adorable smile and pudgy hands that reach out - the package that the kiss comes in is absolutely irresistable.

You are very attached to me - I have become an extension of you. You can't get around like you want to or pick up everything you want to, etc, and I'm the extension of you that enables you to do that. I guess I am food and comfort and safety and you'd rather be with those things than without. You will play on the ground as long as you feel me sitting with you - or sit in my lap and smile and talk to others, but the minute I get up and walk away from you, you turn around and look at me with the saddest face as if to say "why did you leave me?"

I'm pretty susceptible to it and have to work on:
  1. Letting you cry it out in your crib a little before rescuing you
  2. Let you cry it out in your high chair (without setting you in my lap for dinner)
  3. Letting you cry it out in the carseat (you HATE the carseat and I get SO stressed out when you are melting down in the car because there is nothing I can do about it)

You only have two teeth - both in front - on one top and one on bottom - but you are trying most any food you can. Soft carrots, soft potatoes, avacado, bananas, apples, grapes, bread, rolls, on and on and on. You are more than thrilled to be given the opportunity to eat something off of the plate of a big person. You bring it to your mouth slowly memorizing what it looks like and as you gnaw on it slowly, a smile spreads across your face as you seem to be saying "look at me - I'm a real person just like you!"

At the exact same time that you are developing into this little person, Jack is just as magnificent as ever as a brother - he loves you more than I could ever describe. He doesn't want you to smile at anyone else more than you smile at him. He yells to bring your eyes to him, he does dances in your face so you will coo at him, he asks me to bring you to him and a wet baby kiss from you is enough to move him into a giggle fit.

There are times when he is sometimes a little jealous, too.

Jack,

Honey, you are the best big brother I could have imagined! You LOVE your baby Audrey!

You have nicknamed Audrey "Hedgie" and she calls you BAAAABAAA, so I have nicknamed up Bubba. Bubba and Hedgie. What a pair! :)

You recently had a sleep over with Grandma Rose and she was touched when you asked where Grandpa Rose's toothbrush was. She replied that she has put it away and so you had her describe it to you because you just had to know what his tooth brush looked like.

Yesterday, you made the joke of pretending that Playdough Poop was flying out of Audrey's butt and I laughed so hard I almost peed myself.

You are in love with the show: VeggieTales and speak a lot about forgiveness and ask questions about God and where things came from and what it all means. Many times I'm only able to answer "That's a good question. I don't know, Jack!"

I'm starting to think this is reinforcing your suspicion that I don't know what I'm talking about 95% of the time.

You were so sure I didn't know what I was talking about this morning when I told you not to walk with your eyes closed that you ran smack into a wall when I wasn't looking. I told you that sometimes Mommy's know what they are talking about and you replied with "next time, we should just hold hands so that doesn't happen."

You can draw like no other child in your class - remarkably recognizable people and dogs and you even drew a picture of Bob and Larry (from VeggieTales, of course)...

When you absolutely HAVE to do something and you don't want to, you angrily speak very loudly about how you will NEVER, EVER EVER EVER EVER DO THIS, NEVER - while you are putting one foot in front of the other to do that very thing - like go to school.

If you have more personality, honey, your little body wouldn't be able to hold it!

Love,

Mommy