These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Interpersonal Communication

Jack,

At work this past week, I was required to take an Interpersonal Communications class where I take a personality test that evaluates my communication and behavior pattern and shows me how it can benefit and hold me back in my work approach.

I was so alternately flattered and insulted by my profile that it made my head spin!

Here's what it said about my MOTIVATION:

"As a Promoter, Bridget, you are likely to be gregarious and extroverted. These traits usually help you to develop friendships easily, and you tend to look forward to meeting new people....."

Now in my everyday life, I would say I'm shy and introverted, but lately it has become true that I'm the opposite at work. I've been with the company for over 6 years now, so I have a confidence in my knowledge base that I never had before and others seek me out for assistance, so I've become quite self assured in this environment and it's made my personality at work quite different....

"You probably want to be popular, and you likely seek the approval of others. (to a fault!!....okay.... I added that part.) Therefore, you are unlikely to antagonize or bait others on purpose. You tend to be verbally skilled, and you probably use these talents to lavish praise freely. For you, the point most likely is to make people feel comfortable and get them to think of you as a friend.

(Now, STOP! You're making me BLUSH! :)


You are usually able to adapt to almost any social setting. However, you probably still seek favorable environments where you can use your people skills to the fullest.

(Translation: we KNOW you were at the business dinner/happy hour last night!)

Of my WORK HABITS it said:

  • You have a talent for relieving tension in stressful situations (SEE! I AM FUNNY!)
  • You enjoy participating and interacting with others in your work, but may be less interested in the actual accomplishment of tasks. (OUCH! Like a brick to the head out of NOWHERE! Like: DUDE! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!!)
  • Your generally positive attitude may sometimes cause you to overestimate the ability and competence of your colleagues. In addition, you may not always be as objective as the situation demands. When pressed, you may allow sentimentality to cloud your judgment.

(sniffle.... I WILL NOT CRY! I WILL NOT CRY!...)

INSIGHTS FOR BRIDGET:

Time Management can sometimes be a significant challenge for you. To further complicate matters, you probably become more disorganized and careless if you are under pressure. Even when confronted with serious problems, your sense of urgency sometimes may not kick in.

(I have no jokes here because.... yes. I have these issues....)

It may therefore benefit you to focus on accomplishing tasks on time with a solid degree of accuracy.

(Really?!? YOU THINK?!?)

You may want to remind yourself of the necessity of closing the deal or finishing the project. You could also improve your efficiency by setting a time limit on social conversation or discussion of a project.

(BEEP! Oh, I'm sorry Mr. SCHMOE, but your time is up! I can't speak with you any longer! BYE!.....Now HOW am I supposed to do that when popularity is so important to me?)

The fear of injury to your self-worth is probably a chief concern of yours. You most likely do not want to damage or lose your social standing.

(As I was saying....this is painfully accurate... I want you to LOVE ME, PRAISE ME, NEED ME..... hold me!)

This may be one reason that you tend to overuse praise and optimism. You may leap to a favorable conclusion or assume the best-case scenario without taking all the facts into consideration. To minimize the likelihood of a negative outcome, you perhaps should strive to become more objective. Gaining increased control of your emotions could possibly help as well.

(Must. Suppress. Boiling. Rage.)

You may sometimes have trouble following through on your promises. This is probably not due to dishonesty on your part.

(THANK YOU!!!!)

Instead, you may often lose track of important deadlines or details.

(...because I'm retarded, right?!? That's what you're thinking, isn't it?!?)

Therefore, it may be beneficial for you to devote more energy to backing up what you say. One way to do this is to (not pull things out of your ass) seek coaching and direction that will lead you toward solid results in your work.

Bridget, you tend to be a friendly and articulate person who most likely gets impressive results through a vast network of contacts.

(i.e. through other peoples efforts and through no efforts of your own)

***********

Okay - so WHY am I blogging about this to you?!?

I think it's because the company spent a lot of money to do this personality assessment of me and I think it shows me that the confidence that I have in my job is one that I need to carry over into my parenting style. The truth is, I'm not that confident in my mothering techniques and every time we butt heads, I worry that I'm making horrible errors in judgment.

This assessment pointed out to me that I have a tendency to overlook issues and think that they will self correct on their own if I just give them time. Therefore, I don't address things and don't involve myself in unpleasantness and protect my self-worth by not taking an unpopular stance in the company.

I do this at home, too. I need to remind myself that I'M the MOM and sometimes that means being the "bad guy" in your eyes for the long term good. I wish I could just find the PERFECT dose of that authority and temper it with humor to the best all the time.

Why can't I just do everything right?!?

This wistful blog entry brought to you by Bridget Rose - desperately seeking your approval!

(I mean - you liked this entry, right?!? It was okay, wasn't it?!? Will you read it again tomorrow? Please?!?)

Love,

Mommy

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