These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Glutton for punishment or just a GLUTTON?

Jack,

I don't know why I do this, but sometimes - I just get so hungry!!

This morning, I ate a sensible breakfast and was sitting at my desk thinking about how much I wanted to eat more.

Just then a company email came out mentioning that there was some breakfast food from the conference available on the third floor for employees that wanted some.

I got positively giddy with enthusiasm considering the food that I would get to eat. I practically ran to the area where the food was and loaded up a plate with eggs and Belgian waffle and syrup.

The thing is – RG* (head of the Client and Cardholder Support group – my bosses boss and the one with decision making and veto power over applicants) and BT* (VP of the Channel and Agency Department) were standing right next to the table and witnessed me joking with a friend that I would kick her ass if there wasn’t enough food for each of us.

Then they both observed while I gobbled down a waffle, tossed out the eggs saying they weren't that good and filled up a second plate with two more waffles covered in syrup. BT made the comment that I must be pregnant and I said I wasn’t, I was just starving and it was probably because I was drinking too much caffeine and then I hurried off with two juices under my arm and a plate weighted down with waffles and syrup (my SECOND helping) back to work.

At the time, I was all joking about it – now I’m looking back in my mind and thinking – Oh, crap. What was I thinking? I presented myself as a crass and disgusting individual. I’m sooooo not getting the promotion I put in for. What’s the matter with me?

How could my mind have completely lost all sense of appropriateness, politeness and awareness of others when tempted by sugary delicious warm waffles and real syrup?

So, now I'm sitting here and hating myself for the whole scenario. I think I'll cheer myself up by posting more adorable pictures of you!: Here you are balance beam walking with Meemaw (Grandma Mary) and here you are playing ball with Poppa Dough.... You LOVE playing with balls!Uh-oh! It went over the fence! Go get it!Got it! Oh, my god - I miss you so much during the work day....I wish we were playing together right now! But getting to see you - even pictures of you - helps. God - I love you so much! Boy - I DO feel better! What ridiculous insignificant thing was I worried about again? Thanks for the reality check, honey, and for reminding me what is really important!I'm counting the minutes, honey...Love,

Mommy

No comments: