These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Lack of clever-ness....or something like that....

Jack,

I wonder as you grow if you will ever have this thought:

I wish I were more clever….



If you do, you are like me. I’m sure you won’t want to hear that at any time in your life, but at least in that respect you would be – undeniably. Your father never has this problem. As a matter of fact, sometimes when he says something particularly witty – I’ll remember it and pass it off as my own in company where he isn’t present, thereby creating the image of being witty when I’m not. FRAUD!!!



It seems to me that I do SO much better being witty when I have time to think about it. Like here in this blog. You think this stuff just rolls off the tongue?



The other day I was trying to think of something clever to say… I can’t remember why…

I remember in a spontaneous moment thinking: wow-that’s fabulous….drop the fabu….add a y….


I was SO impressed with myself that I wrote it down. No shit – I’m not kidding you. I must confess it again: I was so impressed with my own cleverness that I wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget it before I was able to use it.



Can you say “LOSER”?

I didn’t realize how lame it was until I was conveying the scenario to my sister and heard myself saying it and realized – that’s not clever… that’s sad. So very, very sad.



So, that’s where I stand. Wallowing in my inability to swim with the other fish in the world of quick retorts. I’m on my own short yellow bus when it comes to this, but I’ll continue to work on it. Hopefully, by the time you enter your teen years, I’ll have the ability to come up with some zingers off the cuff – if not for any other reason than as a defense mechanism.



Well, anyway – now you know how lame I am. Hopefully, you love me anyway! After all, I am fabulous…drop the fabu….add a y.
See!!!! It works!

Love,

Mommy

Postnote:

I HAVE to post this adorable scenario that I captured on film of you "practicing" falling down.

You felt safe and wanted to see if you could fall over without getting hurt:

First, there is the fall...

Then there is the pause to make sure that you actually survived and without significant injury...

A pause to recharge the batteries....

And you are ready to go again!

Good practice for real life, actually!

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