These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

File Under - QUIRKS:MOM

Jack,

I’ve come to realize that I have an issue with space on my computer recently. It stems from a quirk of mine which I can’t seem to overcome (in case you don't see it - that's your arm just to the right of the bed - the rest of your body just ran out of the view of the camera, but you can see your arm so it still counts!).

I can’t delete any pictures I take of you. None.

In my head, I have this guilt when I even contemplate deleting a picture that’s blurry or off somehow. Almost as though deleting it would be to admit that I only want to keep or remember or hold onto perfection or expect perfection out of you which isn’t the case. I can’t get past it.

So I hold onto pictures that are completely unreasonable to hold onto. Like this, and this and this…. And so on…

And now I have space issues due to the volume of pictures that I have taken and won’t CAN’T delete!

Other quirks I have: I can’t spell SAINT as in Saint Louis without first typing Satin. What does this indicate? It’s one of my quirks that I decided not to think about too much…

I can’t say “I’m sorry” without a “but” behind it as though – I may be sorry, but there was a reason for my unreasonable behavior…

Oh… and I ALWAYS say “I’m sorry.” All the time. Whether I did anything or not. It drives people I work with absolutely batty.

I obsessively collect and enter promotions and contests on the off-chance I’m the big winner. What can I say – it’s my form of gambling with no up-front monetary investment. Just an investment of time.

I have three scrambled eggs with two slices of 2% cheese EVERY MORNING – no exceptions!

I prefer diabetic candy over regular candy even though I don’t have diabetes…

And I hoard food. If I’m offered food and don’t eat it (and that’s a big IF…), I will probably bring it home.

What can I say – I’m weird. You’ll be weird, too. You won’t be able to help it. We’re all weird in SOME way. It’s what makes us unique, but it sometimes takes a little while for these ‘isms’ to develop.

I can’t wait to learn your quirks, too!

Love,

Mommy

Postnote:

I can't get enough of your art projects! I'm tempted to hold onto EVERY ONE OF THEM and then wallpaper a room with them so I can hang out in there and.... whoa, whoa... I'm creeping myself out now... Maybe I'll just scan them for posterity! :)

This one is one of my favorites! Those are your cute little thumbprints with stems painted on so they are pumpkins! Adorable, right?!?

and then this one is a cut out house-shape that you decorated with markers. The House That Jack Built!:


Oh, and.... apparently SOMEONE (Mommy and Daddy?!?....) forgot to tell you that, although performing your civic duty of voting is a GOOD and RESPONSIBLE thing to do....

It is mind-numbingly dull.

You didn't get that memo OBVIOUSLY!

I think you thought the democratic voting process was one of the greatest things in the world. Again, you are a SMART BOY!! :)

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