These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Incident

Jack,

Yesterday I went to pick you up from daycare. As I walked down your hallway to your room, I pass a low window that looks in on your room. Usually when I come to get you, you are outside, so I was surprised to see your nose pressed to the glass as I passed by the window.

You were so surprised to see me, I could see you physically jump and then press against the glass mouthing "MA-MA" so obviously, I could practically hear your little voice in my head.

I patted the glass and hurried to rush into the room so you wouldn't have time to think I was on my way out rather than in...

It was such a nice greeting! I was on cloud nine.

That's when your teacher approached and I learned the ugly truth.

There had been an "Incident" - your teacher informed me and produced this form for me to sign:

Apparently, you were playing with a toy that another child wanted. Generally, when you have these issues with Calum, you both take turns taking the toy away from the other, but it never escalates.

Enter now more aggressive children and escalations will occur....

The "Incident" as she kept referring to it, had quite upset you. Another child had bitten you in the fight over possession of a toy in the room. There was a mark on your hand and your feelings had been hurt. (see the red mark on your hand? It's hard to see here, but you can make it out...)

In the aftermath and recovery from the "Incident", you had bonded with a toy in the room that helped you recuperate from your feelings of betrayal. A hideous lime green squirrel/monkey type animal that had an aqua and white striped tail and whose mouth was permanently frozen in a perpetual scream. I know I can't possibly describe how horrible it is was in enough detail to do it justice so check it out for yourself:


This is just a picture from when you put it down, but it looks like death - as though there should be a chalk outline around it.

I don't understand the attraction to the thing, but you had bonded pretty strongly and wouldn't let it go. Perhaps the expression of the toy itself matched the feelings you had experienced in the "Incident" so you bonded with it in mutual understanding of the horror it apparently experiences on a daily basis.... The teacher gave you permission to bring it home until Friday (oh, good god...).

Wearing the germs of a thousand children on it, you snuggled it right up to your face and smiled at me.

So, it's at home now. I currently have it in the wash cycle on hot. Let's see if I can't kill some more of those germs before you love on it again, shall we?

As for the "Incident".... I handled it better than I thought I would, but I worry that you'll learn this behaviour from other children that aren't as sweet as you for whatever reason.



If those little guys know what's good for them, this will be the last "Incident" to occur or I may end up showing up with a little teeth impression kit next time to figure out who the attacker is.

Love,

Mommy

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