These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Love in My Family, Too!


I wanted to post this letter to you to share with you an extension of the first entry I included a few days ago.

It's been brought to my attention that it may have hurt some feelings. I think maybe the intention of the entry wasn't as clear as I had thought it was.

To be honest - I had debated posting that blog because I DIDN'T want to hurt anyone's feelings or leave them feeling on the outside. The reason that I did is that I really wanted you to know when you were grown how much getting to where we are now is due to the day to day support of your grandparents on both sides, The Shanks and Wassels.

Without their almost daily support of watching you, we wouldn't have been able to both go back to school, worked full time jobs and still known that you were being well cared for. Infant care is very expensive and they all made it possible to get to where we are now without it hurting too much financially.

Seeing what daycare is like for the first time makes me realize how lucky you have been to have that foundation to build off of. There are many children in the facility and, while the teacher to child ratio is like 5:1, it's still tough for the kids to get a lot of one-on-one time with the teachers for this reason. You've been lucky enough to have had this for the almost full two years of your life and I wanted you to know it and them to know we recognize the efforts and we appreciate them.

Clay has four brothers and sister-in-laws, nieces and nephews - all of whom live here in St. Louis - all of whom we love dearly. The only reason I hadn't mentioned them is because they aren't a part of your daily support structure, which was the point of that previous entry. The intention was certainly not to be hurtful - just because that entry was about that daily support that has gotten us this far. We love all of Clay's brothers and family and you DO see them and have relationships with them just as you do with my brother, Matt, and your Aunt Lisa. We love every last one of them very much! The point of that entry certainly wasn't to be hurtful - and I'm sorry that it had that effect. It was meant to be grateful. That's all I was trying to convey.

The truth is, you will be most influenced by those that you interact with on a daily basis. They will teach you - intentionally or not - right from wrong, how to express yourself, how to behave, respect of others, and all of those things that we all learned as children simply by being surrounded by the people that we were surrounded by when we were young. Those people that you see frequently will be the ones that you learn this from in addition to learning from us, your parents. These family members will be the ones that help shape the person you become the most.

All of your family will influence you as you grow, it's true. But when you are young - your memory is short and that influence comes from those you are most familiar with more than anything else. It's not a hurtful thing, it just is what it is.

The point of today's entry is to clarify the intent of that previous entry and put it in a new light - the light I intended - because I want this blog to be a collection of letters for you that are based in love and never used as a vehicle for hurt.

You have a large family FULL of WONDERFUL people that ALL love you very much and would do anything for you. You are a very lucky little boy, Jack!



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