These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.
Friday, September 29, 2006
No Sex Appeal
I think you'll find as you grow older and have kids of your own, that signs of age creep up on you almost without you really stopping to recognize it. Although, let's be honest - I now tend to avoid mirrors as though I was a vampire and the mirror was the sun and any situation where the two of us would come in contact with each other could only result in horrific death.
When you have kids of your own, you'll understand the full impact that lack of sleep, not showering for weeks at a time, shoveling down your meals in huge gulps, not moisturing your skin (who has time for that?!?), etc - take on accelerating the aging process. Not to mention all of the near accidents that will turn every hair on your head grey before the first year is up! Worry, worry, worry - it wreaks havoc, trust me!
At this point, I have come to the realization that I am a mom complete with the "mom jeans" where my midsection threatens to fold over the top of my pants at any second announcing to the world that - I HAVE GIVEN BIRTH!!!
So, imagine my surprise when yesterday evening - child and husband in tow - we all ended up at Wal-Mart gathering some last minute necessary items that we can't do without - caffeinated soda by the crateload and candy for momma (YES - they ARE necessary!!!). As I was chasing you down an aisle, I passed a couple of guys who (apparently right in front of Clay) checked out my butt and made a lascivious commment.
I was so flattered since I had the same clothes on that I had been wearing all day, my hair had sprouted a huge bulge from where you had grabbed hold to steady yourself when I was putting on your shoes and I kept smelling something which HAD to be me, because it followed me everywhere. At first I thought they HAD to be talking about someone else and Clay had to work very hard to convince me that they had been speaking of me.
Is it too much that I hope they win the lottery? That some wonderful act of god befalls them with some event or gift that they have been wanting? Something so wonderful that they ask themselves - "what did I do to deserve this?"
I'll tell you what - they gave me a boost to my ego that I desperately needed.
Perhaps this weekend, I'll dress up, shave, put on makeup and straighten my hair?
Oh, who am I kidding? Maybe I'll just brush it! :)
I'm sure you're wondering why I'm blogging this to you and the truth is that we all need reassurance. We all need to have little boosts to our egos every once in a while. Sometimes those can come from complete strangers and have a big impact because strangers can be among the most critical of you on the surface than people that know you. People that know you may see you through rose colored glasses. They know you so they see you in a better light. Strangers, on the other hand, have nothing to sway their opinion of you other than your appearance, so when a stranger compliments you - it seems to have an impact on the ego. All of this is shared with you because - first of all - I want to be honest with you about everything. I want you to see everything about the world and be aware that it exists. Second someday you may be married, and I want you to be aware that she and even yourself will need reassurances now and again. Keep this in mind and try to be sensitive to it, okay honey?
P.S. Check out this cutie-pie picture of you at the playground! You are prescious buddy and worth every single grey hair and wrinkle - NO DOUBT!!!