These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

A Little Bit of Everything


Okay - soooooo, when you allow enough time to pass without blogging, you will inevitably have an entry at some point that is a conglomeration of everything. So many topics in one entry that it simply isn't possible to pick a subject line to capture the content. It's probably going to be THAT bad.

The first thing is simply that I recently got my grades for a couple of master degree level courses that I signed up for this summer. I love these grades. Mostly because I became convinced somewhere in the past 8 weeks that I would never survive to see the end of the classes. That I would be one of those people that reaches the ends of their capacities to deal and then just *poof* disappears, or that I would suddenly become comatose and not be able to snap out of it and flunk out of the remaining couple of weeks ensuring that I had a violent F staring at me from my grades telling me that I would have to pay for this failure in full monetarily and psychologically by having to endure the friggin classes a second time. Luckily, these things did not happen.

My grades came and I got an "A" and a "B" in my classes and I was SO HAPPY with these results that I wanted to make out with my grades. I wanted to get a room with them and roll around on them naked! ***I know, I know - gag, hurl, why would you put that in here, Mom?***

I made copies for my HR department and walked across the office holding my grades in front of me - casually stopping for conversation at just about every office I passed and then shoving the paper into their unsuspecting faces. SEEEEE?!? I'm SMART!! Did you know that? HUH?!? Well, NOW YOU DO! BECAUSE I AM! Want a copy for your records? I'll make you one...."

I know - it sounds pathetic ANNNNND I don't care! :)

Now - onto you.

Your Daddy has been traveling a lot for work lately and - it's really because he got this promotion at work and after about A WEEK in the new position, I think they realized what a fantastic move they had made. They realize at this point that your Daddy is super smart and not only deserving of the position but with potential exceeding the position he is currently in. His authority seems to be growing daily and it's actually very interesting to hear about the meetings that he has led, where he goes to meet his co-workers, the lunches, the hotels, the evening dinners, etc. It sounds very exciting - if not incredibly stressful.

As a result of this traveling, you are becoming WAAAAAY more adept with talking on the telephone. When I tell you that Daddy is on the phone and to say "hi", you will now take the phone and say "Hi, Daddy! Daddy work! Daddy sleeping... I go potty! I go Magic House! I-I-I all done, too!" (this last one is a stuttering explanation that you offer whenever a meal begins, all throughout AND when I am in the process of getting you down from the table)

All I can usually get out of you is "noooooooooooooooo!"
One of your favorite games lately is taking every one of your cars that we have in the house and driving them across the coffee table so they go flying off the end of the table and crashing into the floor. As a result, we have a ton of little nicks in the hard wood floors of the house. (***I'll know when Grandma Mary reads this entry because she will call me and say "NOOOOOO! DON'T LET HIM DO THAT! - she won't be able to grasp that I am able to cope with those little nicks existing on the floor...***)

Did I try to stop it, you ask?!? Of course! I have piled pillows everywhere, but they only hit those targets SOMETIMES ~ and I can't do away with the activity in full because it is the only game that you get so involved in that you can play by yourself allowing me time to do things for myself like drink a cup of coffee, fold laundry, load the dishwasher, change a load over, feed and water the cats, pick up dog poop and - my all time favorite - put together a blog entry like I am doing right now!..... while you play with your cars in this wonderful game.

Frequently, though, I will hear - "uuuuuh-ohhhhh. Bwoken!"

Usually without even looking now, I go to dig in the kitchen drawer for our tube of super glue before I even head over to see what is broken. I am becoming MacGuyver with a tube of super glue - HONESTLY! (WOW - again with the MacGuyver references! What am I? 80?!? --- oh... sorry about that GG!)

I actually have superglued your Mater car, your tractor toy, Mack truck, and even used it to reattach the coat hanger to the wall on our front porch (did you hear that? That was the sound of your Daddy uttering explatives under his breath, because I hadn't admitted this to him yet....)
Sometimes when I fix something that you brought to me and I hand it back to you (AFTER the glue is dried - remember, I'm SMART!) you will call me "Handy Manny Mommy" which always makes me want to put on a utility belt and hitch up my pants while I puff my chest out in masculine pride. :)

Another thing - you are currently going through what I would call an accident prone phase. I'm hoping this isn't my genes because that means you will never grow out of it.

In the past week, I think you have run into walls at least five times, fallen flat on your nose at least three times to the point where you sometimes get mysterious nose bleeds from rubbing your nose too hard, and have a bruise on the side of your forehead that is a sickening purplish color. I worry constantly. If you grow up and can't spell atrocious or amplification or cappuccino or can't do your calculus homework properly, it's probably for this reason and I will curse myself for not making you wear football padding and a helmet through this period of your life.

I just keep reminding myself that we all managed to survive so you probably will, too.

I have to confess, though, that yesterday I was at the end of my rope with you. You wouldn't go to bed and I was trying to drag your kicking and screaming and contorted body up the stairs with me while keeping the gate in place to keep our overeager and attention starved dogs downstairs when the gate fell over. I angrily set you down three stairs up so I could pull the gate back in place before the dogs took full advantage and then the entire nighttime routine was set in horrible motion for failure. Only, when I set you down forcefully in my frustration, I pitched you forward thus knocking your bottom row of teeth into your lip causing you to bleed. I felt so bad about it that, I predict even to the day that you are reading this, you could probably remind me that I did this to you and I would bribe you to not bring it up again for another 10 years or however long it has been by that time....

I sat down and cried with you in my lap. I felt like this is the closest I've come to abuse because I set you down with anger even though I didn't mean for you to get hurt - and THE GUILT is overwhelming.

The little cut on your lip is so small that it didn't bleed much and I can't see it anymore. You are getting angry that I keep wanting to tug down on your lip and peer into your mouth.

I am so sorry, angel! I am compelled to admit to this mistake so that I can deal with it. Your blog, afterall, is sometimes Mommy-therapy for me where I can pour my heart out about my mistakes and feel that I am forgiven and will learn from this internet reminder so it doesn't happen again. Hopefully when you read this you have a lifetime of great memories of our times together so you can see this as a minimal mistake and tell me that you love me and I did a good job. That's what I want to hear someday - that in spite of the mistakes that I confessed to in your blog, that I did a great job as your Mommy.

Annnnnd, finally - last night we went for a playdate with your cousin Calum!:

You were thrilled and had a great time watching shows with him and running in circles. You both seem to appreciate this activity.

Then, you played hide and go seek in the curtains:

Emmett even tried to join in the fun, but as has been his cross to bear - you and Calum still refused to acknowledge his entry into the family quite yet:

It was a wonderful evening although there were multiple instances of rebellion which finally triggered us to call it a night.

All in all - life is good!



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