Up to Speed

Jack,

You are a smart little bugger. Here are some things that I've been meaning to blog lately about you that I haven't. And I obviously must.

This morning you pooped in your pants. The potty training has been coming along very well but you just don't want to poop on the potty. Under. Any. Circumstances.

This morning, when you pooped in your pants, I must have had a look on my face that I wasn't aware of because you looked at me and said "Mommy? You fwustwated?" (Frustrated...)"

I was amazed that you:

1. Knew the word "frustrated"


2. Used the word "frustrated" in the completely right context


3. Were so adept at reading my emotions that you could tell exactly what I was feeling at that moment.

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There was a storm this morning and you and Hercy were nervous. Lately you and that little dog are happy as clams together when playing.

You love to throw balls, he likes to retrieve them. It's a love affair, I'm telling you right now.

Until you don't want him to do something and you will holler in a small but very firm voice.

"GETDOWNHERRKEEE!GET DOOOOWN PWEEEEEESE!!!"
"GO DOWNSTAIRS HERKY!! GO!! GO DOWNSTAIRS!!! GOOOOOOOO!!!"

You love to command him and Herky loves to sit right in front of you as you command him and watch you like he's watching his favorite program on TV. You two are really quite the pair.
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Daddy is travelling and you just know he is going to bring you something back from his trip. You talk about what it would be and so far we have these wonderful options:

• pink jellybeans


• chocolate chip cookie with chocolate chips


• ABCD Chocolate (which is what you call Hershey's bars because they have writing on them)


• cupcakes

You failed to mention the shots you will need for your resulting diabetes, but the sweet tooth side of you is convinced it will all be worth it.

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You know:

• Daddy works in Texas
• You can find Texas on a map
• You think you work in Illinois and I work in Missouri
• You can put together puzzles on your own
• You can pick out a number of items at a glance. For example: I can say "Jack pick out the row with five cherries" and you'll glance at the options and pick out the right one.
• I have introduced a schedule system to our day and you will go over to it and say "let's check the calendar!" and then you will point to the writing and say "cupcakes!" as though I would fall for that. More than once that is. :)
• You love to talk on the phone with Daddy especially and I usually end up in tears listening to you because it's so sweet.

You are a pleasure!

And on that note, here are your latest school pictures!

In this one, you are showing that you have mastered the art of the fake smile at 3 years old. I'm so proud! :)In this one, you seem bored to death with the process of more pictures....

This one I love even though the smile is a little fake, but you seem to genuinely enjoy being around those big crayons!

Here is the one of you and your class.

Who's the cutest one there? That's right!!! How'd you guess?!? :)

Love,

Mommy

Big Boy Bed

Jack,

We may be one of the few parents who have waited this long to get you a big boy bed. We really made your crib last. We even put it in the lowest position as a converted toddler bed, but it still looked like a crib. Heck - it even still had it's mobile up! But no longer. You officially have a big boy bed now and I think it looks fantastic. We were all over the place in trying to decide what to get you. We looked at lofts first because that's what I ultimately wanted the most.I had these fantastic ideas about using the bed area and putting up bookshelves as the railing around the edges of the upper bed so that you could have your bedtime stories and snuggly animal toys all around you in your sleeping area. Then, I had these plans of making the underside into a tent area with a bean bag chairs and pillows all over the floor and games and toys and all sorts of fantastic fun stuff underneath.From there, my reality evolved to perhaps bunk beds because our house isn't enormous and it would allow us to fit more in your room. I guess I still had thoughts of using the unused bed for snuggly toys and big pillows to decorate your room and make it look fun. Plus, I thought we could have some fun with you climbing on the top while I was supervising you.Truth be told, I think we landed on the best arrangement. The other two ideas were lots of fun in my head, but there are all sorts of warnings about lofts and bunk beds with younger children. I really owe your Daddy for grounding me in reality because I tend to get an idea that I fall in love with and then all I can see is the cotton candy and sugary ideal of my fantastic daydream and not the dangerous realities of it.Bunk beds and lofts aren't really recommended for any kids under 6 because there is a high incident of accidents that occur with them in the lower age groups. You know.... like head injuries and really bad stuff like that. Things you don't recover from.And you went and proved that these worries ARE sound when you climbed into your bed for the first time and then promptly fell getting out and bit your tongue and there was much blood and crying and I thought thank god that wasn't from a bunk or loft....Because we went with a single twin bed, we decided to spring for the Cadillac of box springs and mattresses, so they weren't cheap, but your bed is decidely softer than even our bed.Since we bought it, you sleep longer which I truly hadn't expected and you go down easier. Sometimes I'll be reading to you and leaning on your bed and it feels so soft that before I know it, I'm lying in the bed with you reading to you.Which is okay as long as I don't make the horrible mistake of falling asleep sometime when I'm doing this. Because that is a habit I don't want to have to address down the road.

Love,

Mommy

Worries and Regrets

Jack,

Yesterday, I took you after school to the Rocket ship park. It had been raining earlier in the day so the park was almost empty except for us and another mother/son team that were the same age as both of us - so the scenario was optimal.

Something about this setting made you incredibly comfortable and, even though we weren't TECHNICALLY playing with the other son and his mother, you watched the other boy go down the big slide without any help and decided that you could handle it, too. This slide is huge. I'd say it's potentially a second floor height or even a three story height slide, so I can understand your intimidation.

But this was even bigger to me, still, because before that day - you had always needed me to go down a bigger sized slide, unconvinced that you could do it by yourself.

Well, last night - you did it by yourself and the look on your face as you climbed off the bottom of the slide was one of such disbelief and pride that I found myself shouting and cheering for you like a complete lunatic from the top of the slide.

The rest of the evening was wonderful. You kept trying out the older childs equipment - the climbers, etc, - and LO and BEHOLD - you were able to do everything - all by yourself - with no injury. And I'm not being overly cautious here. I let you try some things that made me want to vomit - like tall side climbers that an adult might struggle with, but you climbed your way to the top and became even more confident. Even more happy and excited and proud of yourself.

Needless to say, I was in some sort of euphoria. I was beeming and cheering and running around the base of the climber calling out to you to be careful that I almost didn't notice that someone else was on the playground now.

Once I noticed them, I couldn't un-notice them anymore - if you know what I mean.

They stood out.

It's just that EVERYTHING about them was ...... different...... questionable......

The woman was short and walked with a limp because she was missing a leg. Her fake leg was revealed to all because she was wearing daisy duke jeans so you could see where it attached up by her hip. It was hard to tell her age because her face was so wrinkled and buried under layers of foundation and makeup. She kind of made me think of a bar whore who simply couldn't give up her previous identity. Her hair was like straw from being bleached FAR too many times. It looked like it could break if I looked at it too hard. Her teeth were false and she slurred from drinking and she had on a tank top that didn't fit and you could see her bra straps running all along the neckline.

The man with her was old. He didn't look at me so I can't remember what he looked like. She hung on him and flirted and they acted completely inappropriate for being on a playground. They would have been questionable even in a dirty run down bar situation.

The child that was with them seemed oblivious to them and them to her. She was Mexican looking with beautiful dark skin and long black hair, but she never said anything. She immediately set herself on a sand digger in the playground sandbox and started to entertain herself.

The strange woman wandered over to me and asked me in slurred speach if I could watch their girl because they were going to go to the bar next door and order food.

I couldn't believe the question. I hesitated in my disbelief and then found my sanity and said "No. I will not watch your daughter. First of all, I don't know if she would listen to me (and this playground was right next to a busy street, so I didn't want to be responsible for my child and someone else's that I didn't know anything about), AND I don't understand why ONE of you couldn't go to the bar and order the food while the other waited here with the child."

She patted my arm and said it was okay. They would take her with them.

I couldn't believe it. I still obviously wasn't thinking clearly because I just kept thinking "OHMYGOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!"

Now - in retrospect - I know I should have called the police. The child obviously wasn't their natural born child as neither of them were the same nationality as her. My mind has worried about every possible scenario that this could have been - a kidnapped child? A child that was about to be abandoned? Something worse?

Why didn't I call the police? Why...why?

Bottom line is that she was in a bad situation and it needed to be recognized as such. But the moment is gone now and I feel like I failed this child that I didn't know. I feel like I might have been able to make a difference in her life that could have improved it and now that chance is gone and who knows how many risky situations she is subjected to on a daily basis.

I'm worried about her and I can't stop thinking about her and I have so many regrets about that situation.

Which sucks, because that was the day you achieved more independence and grew a little bit more confident of your own abilities away from me. On the exact same day that I saw the underbelly of humanity and now I need to keep a reign on myself and not give into this primal protective instinct I have at this moment to grab you up in my arms and not let you go.

Be careful out there, Jack - Okay? I love you!

Love,

Mommy

Hop On Pop

Jack,
That Dr. Suess character didn't base this book on nonsense.He must have been a quiet observer of the parent/child relationship because it seems a common theme that children tend to use their fathers as playground equipment.You see it in the animal world, too.The parent animal looking like he's gone to another place while the young ones crawl and tumble and bite on the parent to their heart's content, safe in the knowledge that what exists between these two creatures is so strong that it can endure anything and they completely trust their parents.It's endearing and sweet to watch.The ultimate display of trust and love because the child is so small and the father so big.The child must be very confident of the love of their father to feel safe in the knowledge that Daddy's size is for play and the love that father has for his child must be incredible to not only allow it, but enjoy it himself, encourage it even!Because a stomach was not made to be a trampoline, and yet I have seen you jumping up and down on your father's stomach because you are enjoying the time together, being immersed in his attention and the contact.But your Daddy never shows a sign that this may be less than comfortable and your horse play continues until you move onto the next thing, usually with Daddy in tow.It really is a beautiful thing!

Love,

Mommy

I work with boobs

Jack,

In your lifetime, I'm sure you will have many jobs and over the course of your career, I'm sure you will have the opportunity to work with a WIDE variety of people. Some you will get along with and consider friends, others you may avoid. There may still be others that you consider complete boobs.

I work with a lot of them.

I swear to god, in the last two minutes I have heard two of my male co-workers make the following statements while on the phone with clients:

".....and I'm just going to have to call this guy and say 'What the FUDGE is going on here?!?'"

and all I can think of is.....oh, I hope he says that! I hope he says that and I hope I hear him say that and then I want to run over there and hit the speaker button so I can hear what is said back.

Another co-worker was overheard telling a client:

"Hey. It takes TEAMWORK to make the DREAM WORK."

And then I started turbo barfing and haven't stopped yet.

.......

And now I pause and remember who had cards printed with a sex line number on the back of them and suddenly, I feel like the biggest boob in the room.

Love,

Mommy

Sharing

Jack,

So, my birthday is a couple of days away and you said to me "Mommy? You share birthday?"

I agreed. We would share my birthday. This actually made my birthday even more fun because you were excited about it since I was sharing it with you.

We went to the store to buy the cake I was going to make. I picked out a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and, as I put it in the cart, you reminded me "Mommy. We SHARE."

"Oh. You're right, Jack. What cake did you want?"

You pulled down the rainbow confetti cake with sprinkles in it and then the matching rainbow frosting.

"Have dinosaur cake." you said.

"Dinosaur cake?"

"Yes."

Hmmmm. I can do that!So I did. Check it out!Love,

Mommy

Maj-in-eenes

Jack,

You've been potty training for about a week now and we've had precious few accidents and I want a way to reward you for these successes.

Introducing the Responsibility Chart.Your first and most important responsibility on this cart is that of the Potty. Every time you have a potty success, you get to put a magnet next to that responsibility (you call them "maj-in-eenes"). When you fill all the spots next to that responsibility, you get a matchbox car.You have been wildly successful and we've shelled out three matchbox cars so far for these accomplishments. (Guess who's Mommy works for an Incentive company.....)The chart itself has been a wonderful addition to our routine as a family. There are other items on there - things you had been doing but now we can make a bigger deal out of them by giving you a magnet and another chance to earn a reward for doing these good things that have made you more eager to do them and that is good for all of us.I had mentioned before that I think I've found my Mommy Groove with you and it's really simple but it was a hard lesson for me to learn. I think I have the tendency to be all gooey.

I don't like the word pushover.Anyway, you are a smart kid and if I don't deliver my message with complete conviction in my voice and mannerisms, you can tell and you don't take it seriously. This applies even to the way that I walk out of your room at naptime. If I hesitate because I'm flinching expecting crying and carrying on, there will be crying and carrying on. But if I leave directly and in a positive manner with a good kiss and hug and a "I love you! I'll see you at wake up time!" and head directly downstairs, you accept this as it and all is usually well. Sure - there are always exceptions, but for the most part it's true.If I have confidence in myself, you have confidence in me and it's better for everyone.

So I've been telling my inner critic to shut his/her piehole for once because this is what we need right now. And it's working - for both of us.We are both delivering on our responsibilities and seem to be loving every minute of it!

Love,

Mommy

Easter

Jack,

With all the focus recently on your Birthday and starting Potty Training, there has been a LOT to absorb. So even though we HAVE been talking up Easter to you, I don't know that you were all that prepared with everything else taking place so recently, too.

We dyed Easter eggs and had a lot of fun watching you switch an egg from one color to another. Daddy figured out some fun ways to get multicolored eggs and we would oooooh and aaaaah at them as they came out of the dye looking all bright and toxic. :)

Anyway, your mind was blown today by the Easter Bunny.

That Easter Bunny is a generous little ball of fluff, bless his little Cotton Tail....Now, we HAD left a nice little note for the Bunny telling him that the eggs were in the refrigerator and to please hide them.We left him a carrot, too, of course - in the spirit of Santa and such showers of generocity, one must be cordial and extend a cookie or carrot or one may not receive loot.Well, that Bunny - he came, he ate, he left lots.And I don't mean the brown droppings you would expect.... That bunny brought you cars toys, candy by the basketful, iced and decorated cookies, a puzzle, playdough and a stuffed bunny that you won't put down and have named Easter.After checking out all the surprises, Daddy explained about the hidden Easter eggs that we dyed and you were off.It's like every day of your life has been leading up to this moment.You're a born egg hunter, Sweetie!That bunny could have stepped up his game a little because you didn't have much trouble finding those eggs and they weren't sitting right out in the middle of the floor, either...All the while, wierd and strange things were happening outside because IT WAS SNOWING. ON EASTER.But our indoor hunt which is the way my family always did it, was a wild success.Your Daddy was an outdoor egg hunter. He preferred the wild ones.So, who knows what will happen next year. Weather permitting, of course.Much to my surprise, after finding all the eggs, you were up for hiding them for us. Given that most of them were lined up on the kitchen counter, but I'm still really impressed by this!I mean, I know I did this when I was little, too, but I KNOW I was much older than 3 when I did it. And you DID have some good spots!Boy, Egg Hunting can work up an appetite.YEAH, CHOCOLATE!!What? What's THAT? Sorry! I can't hear you over ALL THIS CHOCOLATE!With all this sugar in your system, it suddenly occured to you that it might be possible that the Easter Bunny was at Calum's house RIGHT NOW. WE HAD TO CALL HIM RIGHT AWAY.So, you spoke with Calum and confirmed that the Bunny was NOT there, but HAD been. Satisfied, you let go of the phone and ate more chocolate while I spoke to Aunt Erin.And this next photo is of the Sugar Space Out. This is the step just before the body realizes - WOW! YOU KNOW WHAT I CAN DO WITH ALL THIS? I CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!So, we headed right over to the Rose family's house for the family Easter egg hunt because many children all in this state of mind hunting for eggs outside in freezing cold weather is the perfect recipe for rainbows and unicorns.You didn't know that, did you? You're welcome. And your Rose cousins, completely unaware of your MAD SKILLS in the art of the egg hunt, threw you many a generous and obvious freebie.You didn't let on that you noticed.Well played, Little Man!The hunt continued until the older kids determined that all eggs had been found and the we went inside to open them up and find out what you had discovered.I was surprised to see how upset it made you to open an egg that had change in it. This was very disappointing to you and you would let out a little whimper as though this was a serious betrayal and reach for another.I think you were looking for your next sugar fix and this money thing wasn't cutting it.

It really felt good to watch you with your older cousins.You look up to the big kids so much and I can't express my gratitude enough that they include you, look out for you, help you.I hope you're close to them as you all grow up because it's nice to have people that you can look out for and can count on to look out for you.That's family. :)Happy Easter, Jack!

Love,

Mommy