These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
You have entered a new phase that I just love. Just this past weekend, you were tearing around the kitchen while I loaded the dishwasher with some silverware in your hands just chatting up a storm, when you changed direction and came walking to me saying "MAMAMAMAMA!"
I was so excited that you were saying Ma-ma because you always say Da-da, but when you reached me, you threw your little arms around my leg and gave me a big hug. I can't even tell you how touched I was by this sweet little gesture.
Since you hugged Calum on Easter and that hug in the kitchen, you have discovered that you love hugs! I couldn't be happier about this new love of yours and am ALWAYS wanting more. Because of the frequency with which I have been requesting them and because of how much you love other children, when we go to the playground, I find you frequently want to give hugs to the other children on the playground. The slightly older ones get a big kick out of it and will take your hand and drag you around the playground with them for the rest of the time that we are there, but the younger ones that are 15 months and under, don't know what to make of it. They kind of let you hug them and some push away a little. You don't seem offended or detered in the least, though, and when the hug is over, you take off for the next thing - that is, until the hug deprivation sets in and you are off to find another little kid to hug.
We have also made the jump and purchased a digital camera. Dani's blog entry earlier mentioned that our camera broke, so we made the plunge and I have been addicted ever since. I understand what your Aunt Erin said about being addicted to the internet and the pictures on her blog. I follow you around with this new camera like I'm filming a documentary and I'm afraid that I'm going to miss some very meaningful moment that will never happen again.
I think you've become immune to every attempt that I've made to gain your attention now. I have tried to get you to smile and look at me so much now that you don't even react when I try to get your attention now for a picture. You've developed the ability to effectively tune me out.
Also, your will has grown so strong that you are becoming more and more sure that what you can do what you want to do. Most of the time, this is good, but in instances like where you want to discover the street - not so good. :)
This strong will manifests itself in these moments as toddler tantrums that truly don't last very long, but they are an excellent workout for me as I pick you up and struggle to hold onto you while you buck and try to get back to what you were doing before I tried to redirect you. Finally, I'll be able to interest you in something else and you'll forget what it was that was so important for you to do before, but you always remember and try again. You smart little booger! Although it's challenging, part of me is so proud of your independence and your self assurance. I wish I had just a little bit more of that myself. Now, all I need to do is figure out how to convince you that I am right when it really matters! I think that's the challenge for the rest of our years together, huh?
You're the best, little man! Mommy loves you!!