These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Did I really just DO that?

8-24-06

Jack,

I think you really realize that you have become a parent when this questions pops into your brain for the first time.

“Did I REALLY just DO that?”

What brings this question on you might ask?

Definitely not the first time you pluck a big green boogie from the nose of your child and, upon realizing that there is nowhere to put it, you end up wiping it on the ground or the nearest tree only to be brought aware of your actions when you see an incredulous person staring at you with jaw dropped wide open and you find yourself suddenly aware of what you did and asking:

“Did I really just DO that?”

And it definitely wouldn’t be the time that in a desperate attempt to pacify a toddler at the height of frustration because he is being made to do go home when he DOESN’T WANT TO, that you hand a big stick to your child because it’s the closest thing to a “toy” within reach until you realize that the next step for him is to start whacking everything in sight with it – including you.

….or the time in the grocery store where you kept picking out cartoon packaged foods in order to entertain your child while going through the aisles only to dump the entire stack of food items in the nearest bin before checkout

…or the time at night when you are SO tired that you can’t stay awake, yet your little guy is frightfully excited about how WONDERFUL it is to be next to you after a full day apart, so you fall asleep on the floor while he crawls over you and rolls cars over your head.

…or the first time that you fart in front of your toddler and he bursts into uncontrollable laughter and you can’t help but joining in – both of you laughing and farting and having a wonderful time – completely delighted with gross bodily functions.

Ah, yes. I do think you are officially a parent when you ask yourself for the first time: “Did I REALLY DO THAT?” and the terrible, truthful, wonderful answer is:

Yes – yes you did….

Love,

Mommy

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