These are letters to Jack, my son, and my daughter, Audrey. You have given me the gift of motherhood. This is just a little gift back. I want to share my experiences with you of your childhood from my perspective of watching you grow - of being your Mom.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Now I can see my WHOLE NECK!

Jack,

Today you turned 5 years old.

Sure - this may not seem as astounding to anyone besides maybe myself, your Dad and immediate family members. I mean... I guess it was bound to happen at some point, right?

Still. You are FIVE!

Wow.

This morning you emphatically told me that now you could see your whole neck! I won't tell you how long I pondered that statement before I put together that you meant when you looked in the mirror. Lately, my mind isn't what it used to be.

I look upon five as a big milestone - you become school age, you aren't technically a baby anymore - you are now in the little kid zone. You have friends that you hang out with and joke with now and you'll come home and tell me what Max said today and laugh while I nod blankly desperately trying to put the puzzle together in my head to figure out what the joke was. The punchlines always seem to have something to do with the word STINK or POO and they just send you into convulsions of laughter.AHHH, YESSS - I remember that. Five year old humor! So, we had a big birthday bash this year where you could invite all your friends and play in a fun environment. We opted for Monkey Joe's and I'm really very proud of how well the party went. It was a VeggieTales party because that is your absolute favorite thing now. I planned this for weeks - I ordered special favors online because there aren't any local stores that carry VeggieTales items. I found costumes and videos at stores, but that was it.The cake was VeggieTales which I was able to find at a local bakery - put together goody bags and the whole shabbang.I'm sooooooooooooo glad we did it, too, because you had such a blast with your friends! I'll admit - it had the element of Lord Of the Flies to it, but in a good way! :) You were all so cute running around and jumping and you were almost purple in the face from all the activity before you slowed down to eat. Actually, you slowed down because someone - some girl I don't know - pushed you down and that was it. You were crushed. It was a typical "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" moment that we've all had at some point. It was all so exciting and you were basically elevated to cloud level for hours on end. A crash was inevitable, but it wasn't too bad. You simply chilled in the party room while your guests continued to bounce and you were completely recovered by the time everyone joined us in the room to eat and open gifts.Recently, I've been reminiscing with you about how I wished for you before you were born. How I couldn't stop hoping that I would have a baby and that you were the perfect little baby that I dreamed of that came along and made me a Mommy.I let you know that I asked for YOU specifically and I got what I wished for, but it's not really the truth because, Jack - I could never have imagined that anything would be as strong as this - this fierce need to protect, this testing of my strengths and pushing me to be a better person - this all encompassing love. It's better than anything I could ever have hoped for because it's better than I could ever have imagined.You make the day brighter and you show me the way by showing me how to become the person that I want to be each day.

Happy Birthday, Jack!

Love,

Mommy

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